Waiting for Godot

Was the most amazing experience.

we got 11 pounds tickets that were in the first row. Other than the neckache I got from looking up, I can't begin to describe the emotions I was undergoing throughout the play. I would be laughing from one comic moment, then in awe of the actors' skills, and in disbelief that I'm actually 1m away from Ian Mckellen who I have so often seen on stage. Not to mention the photo above which we took with him after waiting backstage for like 10minutes.

The way I interpret it(annabelle correct me if I'm wrong) is that Waiting for Godot is Beckett's expression of the lack of purpose in life perhaps. Though beckett in his letters stated that he has no clue who Godot is, the play on his name and the constant reference to his ability to save the characters seem to point us to that direction.

Beckett presents a rather cynical view on the world. Aimless waiting, lack of purpose. The silence in the play is often presented as unsettling, disconcerting, replaced with the need to start a conversation.

Estragon and Vladimr seem to represent every man, and the relentless pressure of life on each one of us that leads to nothing. "YOU SAW ME!" Vladimr shouts to the messenger boy in the second half of the play seem to suggest the desperation that man feels for a God who doesnt seem to come. The fact that only Vladimr remembers the events of the day before, and unable to control the things happening around him seem to suggest the insignificance of man.

Unable to dictate situations, they are bound to wait in anticipation of a person who never seems to show up.

Okay that was rather brief. at 2am in the morning my lit glands tend to be rather skimpy. Having not seen the script, I doubt I'll be able to give anything more substantial. I'm just restating what was going on through my mind during the play. Alot was running through my mind. But its too late to try and write them down. I sometimes feel I have the memory of Estragon. heee.

Its interesting that we were doing the idea of Lutheran and Calvinism in Renaissance Lit today, and the play I watched in the night suggests the lost in the faith of a God. I can't begin to describe how much I disagree with Beckett on that one. My God is never one to leave me in anticipation of a promise that will not be fulfilled. My God knows His promises to me. (:

We can say that well, Beckett(ignoring the fact that he doesnt mean godot to be God) only wrote 2 days of the play. Though we are inclined to respond to the insincerity of this Godot who never shows us, the time of the play is only 2 days. God makes us wait sometimes. Since the play never continues, we never come to a conclusion if the 2 characters meet Godot, or hang themselves on the tree.

And about Calvinism, well, I don't believe in the idea of the "elect". God gave each of us free will to choose if we want to receive Christ and be saved. Anyone who does so have a place in heaven if we choose to keep it. We don't have to resort to Good Works to figure out if we have a pre-determined place in Heaven. Therefore, I doubt I can say that Faustus has been pre-determined to hell/heaven. He wilfully CHOSE to defy God and sell his soul to the devil.

anw, I should stop this right now cause i'll need my brain cells tomorrow to read my medieval Lyrics. Praise God that the passion for Literature is increasing. (: Thank you Jesus.

sometimes I just wonder if I'm being sensitive, or if reality drives me to behave this way.

will I ever understand?

or will I be caught in this endless cycle, in which I in the future shall impose on my friends?

to the latter I pray not.

not understand. if I must. Yet inside curiosity eats me.

I will resist.

READING WEEK

READING WEEK is now over.

It felt great to have completely no agenda whatsoever. No essays, a complete holiday.

Did some reading(as it is termed) of Chaucer, Marlowe... Still behind with reading though. Thats why I'm in the conservatory now typing this.

This week was fun! (: Monday night couple of us girls went out for a ladies night. (: Went to UCLU for 99p night then to Tigertiger. Music was GREAT. (: wearing heels wasnt such a great idea though.

The rest of the week was just doing reading, frisbee.

Thursday Elfi Rob and I took a bus up to Cambridge.

After Spain and all the buses we took, I felt a little claustrophobic being on that bus. Not to mention nauseous. But it was cool anyway.

it was rather sad that the weather decided to be shits that day. Epitome of GREYNESS and depression. Rain put all the sundials to complete desolation. It felt great though, to meet Joshua, and walking around the college that I've only ever so often heard of.

Singapore-Cambridge O and A level examinations. the singaporean finally in cambridge, taking a look at the college that we only dream of going to.(other than for joshua, in whose case became a reality)

To be honest, it was pretty and all, but the town seemed rather boring. and Apparently, you can see people talking and smiling to themselves whilst walking along the street. That is being too smart for you. seems rather scary.

Anw, we had a nice pub lunch for like 5 pounds(i had scampi and chips. the most english thing you can eat). then proceeded to check out King's College(cambridge) and the chapel. The chapel was rather impressive but after all the HUGE ARCHITECTURAL INSPIRING CATHEDRALS in Spain, Im sorry to say, this dims in comparison. But still, interesting. (:

Went to check out Trinity College and St. John's, the two richest colleges in Cambridge with a little rivalry going on in there. took a walk along the Backs,

and then it was back to London. A nice dinner at Nandos.

Friday did some reading in the day, at night, we had some drinks in Rob's room then proceeded to KoKo's. Its a club in Camden that has live music. great music, not your usual r&b hits but alternative indie rock that you're dancing to. (: the live bands were great! the lead singer of the second band was AWESOME. she's great! after the performances we just hung around dancing, shouting and having fun really. (: took a walk back to halls.

Saturday woke up late(missed frisbee. i think my president hates me), afternoon did some work, went out to chuck some frisbee with Ida. there was actually SUN! which explains the photo with my shades on. At night, Elfi, Rob, Gez, Tim, Jefferson Charlie and I proceeded to UCLU for 1.50 night and Karaoke. I was made to sing a song I had NO CLUE sounded like, and rob likewise was made to sing probably the most cheesy and entertaining song ever. it was great. great drinks, burning table and other strange incidents.

anyway, Life has been great. I still sometimes sit in my room, or walk along the streets of London, not believing that I'm actually here studying in this city. Its a rather disconcerting feeling. I Praise God for everything that he has blessed me with so far. For great friends, and even for simple things like learning to enjoy my course. I'm starting to really feel that Love for Literature. even though I still dread the idea of reading renaissance literature. and I still don't really understand edmund spenser. But in anycase, I do know what I enjoy, and i'm learning new things everyday. (: Praise God for my B in Lit theory. Could have done better but good enough for now I guess. (:

I'm in love with Chaucer. today's lecture on the Man of Law's tale was just so so so interesting I cant help but write down everything that Bob Mills was talking about. (: the idea of a cristendom against paganism. (: anw, i should get back to doctor faustus which is another interesting play. (:

Praise God for everything!

i havent been blogging for a while. as Cordelia has pointed out.

this blog post will probably take a while since im on skype with her. now its 2.56pm

Spain:

was pretty awesome. We travelled Madrid, took a day trip to Toledo, Granada, Valencia, Barcelona and San Sebastian.

Christmas Day was spent in Granada. We had to walk quite far to a supermarket to get bread ham cheese and things lke that for our simple Christmas dinner in the Hotel.

New Year's was in Barcelona. It was pretty simple, no real big hype about it. Back in London it was a different story, judging from the shouting and screaming from the other side of the phone.

It still feels pretty much like a dream. I mean, as my conversations with Melvin and Daniel have pointed out. I'm living a life that many people can only dream of. Its amazing how within this year I moved to London, travelled Paris Brussels Spain. Just a year ago I was comfortably sitting at home in Singapore, all sheltered and safe.

Travelling has opened up my eyes to the many things I never thought of or ever dream possible. I started to realise how safe Singapore is, and how sheltered singaporeans are. Leaving our bags unattended at the library or cafes, sitting down in the mrt on the ground are some of the everyday things we take for granted. From my encounters of pickpockets in Spain, I begin to see the simple security we enjoy back home.

Being Independent is tiring. Sometimes I just want to fall back on family and just be dependent on people. Not having to settle my own accounts, find my own accommodation, buy my own food.

Since I got back, I have been busy with exams. Thank God for His blessings. I was able to finish the papers and at least have things to write about even though I didnt have much time to study(something i greatly regret). Now that its over, i need to get back into the swing of School. Thank God for friends I have met in my course, and for some interesting tutors.

Its amazing. Life has been amazing here.

"Where would I be, if not for your grace"

I need to start serving. and I cant wait to get home.

turn of a decade

ZOMG.

i could hardly believe it when Rob mentioned it was the end of a decade.

another 10 years passed.

in about 18 hours i'll be 20. well not technically, but its 2010. 1990 - 2010 is 20 years.

typing this is Barcelona completely magnifies how much has changed since the last year.

Looking back onmy life the past year,

there are many things I have to thank God for.

I began the year with no plans in mind. maybe, NUS FASS to do History or Political Science.

in March, the night before the release of A levels results.

I clearly remembered myself talking to God. I kept imagining the worst casescenarios and How I wanna give thanks to Him even if i fare terribly.

getting my results was the most unexpected pleasant surprise ever. I was in disbelief when Brother Paul read out my name. Praise God for everything. (:

everything after that happened so fast. I triedmy luck at applying for a UK university, my MOE scholarship and with God's blessing, he blessed me with king's and the scholarship.

june july august passed by so quick. meeting the MOE scholars, spending time with friends. then before i knew it, it was goodbye to singapore.

at the airport, many things i didnt manage to do. i didnt spend enough time with my cell group, i wanted to spend more time with vivien hannah and krystal, and the serangoon clubvols. in me, the reluctance to leave Singapore and my friends and family amounted to the excitement of a new life new experience awaiting me in London. I could only Praise God for his Hands of blessings.

After 3 months in London, all i can say is. Thank you Jesus. For a wonderful hall with wonderfull hallmates, for the Financial provision, for the new experiences in my travels, for challenges in school. forthe MOE friends and King´s singaporeans who never fail to give me that taste of Singapore again. for my r/ship with friends back in singapore. (:

as much as i miss life in singapore, the familiarity, the warm(literally) and snugfeeling of home and family,being driven around by friends suppers and stuff,

I praise God for everything. I know nextyear is going to be awesome. and that im gonna set a few resolutions.

1. join a cell

2. study harder, keep up with readings.

3. serve in church

in any case. PraiseGod for 2009,

bring on 2010. (:

HAPPY BURSTDAY! (:

I'm finally 19. I have to say, its not a really happy feeling. I feel my youth slowly slipping away.

No more ability to survive on 3 hours of sleep.

No more dancing for hours without feeling tired.

GAH. (: 1st December was rather memorable. Other than it being my first birthday away from home, I was given a pleasant surprise by my friends in halls. A pathetic celebration at 12 midnight to throw off all my suspicion of a surprise. then on tuesday, a party in the ping pong room with loads of candy and balloons. (:

was good. (: and ice skating was fun. other than the group of annoying teenagers who were basically making everyone around them fall. but ice skating in the open is definitely a novelty.

Lord of the Rings on Wed Night, an awesome thursday. Seriously, my tutors are very very nice. My Poetry Tutor lent me a book on poetry on her own accord. And my Lit Theory tutor is just so understanding. (: Inger and I had this awesome conversation (like the week on Gender) on Narrative and History. Dinner was interesting, and musical rehearsal was fun. (:

Met the rest at The Red Lion and then to Anna's Room for a really 'happening' party. just sat there and did our usual disturb others tease people, be a victim of insult. listen to music singing to bohemian rhapsody getting scolded for singing 'anywhere the wind blows' wrongly. and 'fat bottomed girls'.

SKYPE DATE WITH MY CELL GROUP! so funnnn. lagging but awesome. (: miss them so much. cant wait to go back and make noise with them again. sigh. Amelia and Amabel forever making so much noise.

Thank God for the wonderful trip to Paris and Brussels. For good company, and the chance meeting with James. ((:

Had a crazy weekend of sport. (:

Saturday Netball in Nottingham. Played like 7 matches.

Sunday Frisbee Winter Regionals. OH GOSH. Louis and Ian were SO SO SO good. (: its amazing.

(: Missing people from home! (: