Nose Tell Gel

Nostalgia.

It's an incredible thing isn't it. How one grows and matures, only to look back and feel this incredible feeling of Nostalgia. I think as you age, you'll start experiencing this at shorter intervals. Just thinking about the time when I just arrived in London, the feeling of apprehension with regards to things like "will i find good friends" "will i fit in?".

I couldn't thank God more for the friends here in International Hall. If I had any regrets it would be not hanging out with people on my course more. but that's for another time.

It has been a great year, awesome people incredible events! :D

Reminiscing KCPSS times with eiji over skype. the Only Singaporean CRAZY enough to not be sleeping in the wee hours of the morning. Good times. :D

Thank You God for everything, You're indescribable, you put the stars in the sky and you know them by name. You amazing God!

Lord Your ways are higher than me.

Teach me Father to walk in this grace

this Grace everlasting, Unbelievable.

The human mind seeks to rationalise

the greatness of this God who created the heavens

but fails. Fails miserably. The Supernatural

ways of you O Lord is higher.

Higher than the intelligence of man.

The inadequacies of us throws me into

Confusion. Yet I hear a voice

calling from Heaven, so deep from my heart.

Intimate, as if from within.

"Walk with me"

Colossians 1:16-17

"For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

My God is Great.

No words can begin to explain how great He is.

Looking at the size of the known universe He created, I can't begin to think how big he is.

After hearing Louis Giglio speak about the awesomeness of the universe and the galaxies in the heavens, and then scaling it down to the wonders of the human life, I realised that the same power that created the stars and the galaxies created me.

who am I that He should love me, give me such grace?

The mystery and wonder of the human life are enough to prove to me that this God set out to love me. Why else would He use such amazing miracles to create me?

You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name

You put me here on earth and You know me by name

"As high as the heavens from the Earth, so great is the measure of our Father's love for those who fear Him"

Imagine the size of heaven if we are already unable to travel size of the universe.

Words fall through me.

LOOK MA(and pa)

I HAVE EYE BAGS.

this is what happens when you decide to change your sleep cycle for good and have been waking up at 7.30am every morning after months of sleeping around 2-3am and waking up around 10.

so kids, always remember that unless you want ugly bags below your eyes, sleep early.

However, I do have to say that I have been able to wake up rather easily. i mean, ignoring the fact that i snooze my alarm about 4 times every morning, it is considerably easy. I mean, after all it is usually 7.30am when I wake up. Vast improvement compared to the past year.

Now where have I disappeared to, i have been studying hard the past few days.

okay maybe not hard, but i have been studying for the past few days. at least attempting to.

okay maybe not. here's the true story.

waking up early going to the library: True.

Writing my essay: True.

efficient and competent: Not True.

40% Essay, 30% reading, 30% chatting online.

I do have to say I'm thankful that I'm not in NTU Mass Comms. The twins and Amelia are really working really hard. projects and assignments due this week, exams next week. they basically have no time for themselves(other than the occasional tweets) Gosh I miss them.

my cell leader exploited me last night. Asked me to compose a song for her for her Music Science module. If you get more than a C you owe me 5 cups of KOI milk tea without sugar. I demand so. I miss cell. many new people and I'm not there to give them a loud welcome.

Been spending alot of time with Inger's guitar. It sounds awesome plucked. So i'm learning a new song, Thank You by the Katinas. It's hard. well, at least the hardest I've tried so far. I think my fingers have to be an inch longer. But i'm going to finish it. I insist. But it took me 45 mins to learn the first 4 bars.

My thermal flask is amazing. totally worth the $20 we spent on it. my pei pa gao remains steaming hot even after 7 hours. (:

Time is flying by quick. In less than 2 months I'll be back home. Okay i know i always say this but I really still can't believe I'm here in London. Never in my wildest dreams, sitting in the classroom in Jblock of CJC. sleeping at the back of lessons esp. during lit and maths, would i ever have been able to conjure up the idea of studying in London. It was always, NUS/SMU, or Australia(UNSW or Sydney or Melbourne) but i never really harboured the notion of being far away from home. I mean australia, I'll be home in like, 5 hours max? and it doesnt cost £657 to fly back. ah it's so strange. But i'm thankful all the same. Thank you thank you Jesus.

I hung out with church people on sunday. It was a really great feeling, saying grace before dinner, eating and laughing, taking weird photos. They are a great bunch and I'm hoping to really get close to them. (: Met a guy who plays the trumpet for the queen on a horse in the army, and sings really well.

in any case, I should get back to read Hobbes and his philosophy on self consciousness through memory of the past, and in a bigger picture, back to my essay. my "friends" buddy is back in Paris so that is on hold.

Here I am with all I have I raise my hands to worship you              I wanna say thank you Oooh Thank you                            For everything for who you are                                  You cover me and touch my heart I wanna say thank you

"I know what I'm doing.

I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, Delphne, not abandon you,

plans to give you the future you hope for.

When you call on Me, when you come and pray to Me, I'll listen.

When you come looking for Me, you'll find Me.

Yes, when you get serious about finding Me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."

-Jeremiah 29:11-13(MSG)

I'm incredibly jealous of friends back home at the G12 conference. I wanna be there. heard great things happening in church and in Singapore!

GAH so terribly homesick today. Got treated like I was invisible, lunch was crap. I wanna go home. for today. I know I only have 3 years here and I should treasure it cause I'm gonna be missing it when I'm back in Singapore. For now, I want friends back home who won't treat me coldly, Mommy to cook awesome chinese food(even if there's is no rice), Dad to discuss random things, brothers to disturb. Chill out at Starbucks, Hang out at Timbre, Play in the band again.

Stayover at the twins', TYA, suppers ice cream dance lessons at Amore. Sukiyaki and Ebi Sushi at Sushi Tei.

Not 3 dudes next to me discussing about absolutely benign crap and forcing me to listen to their conversation even though my Lord of the Rings soundtrack is playing loudly in my ears.

nor having to read Sir John Mandeville which has to be the most boring text on the Medieval Course.

we're all entitled to rant once in a while aren't we?

Things won't be the same will it?

after all that's happen?

guess I'll just have to stop thinking about the past and accept what I've done

I'm sorry I screwed up.

"You alone can rescue

You alone can save

you alone can lift us from the grave

You came to find us

let us out of death

You alone deserve the highest praise"

It has been a while.

I forgot what it was like to be part of a christian community.

Today that changed.

I finally came to terms with the fact that I need a family here in London

it has been hard.

struggling with God.

thinking that I can lead a life without a christian community.

I've been attending church, just not actively involved, and being accountable to anyone.

somewhere along the line I felt my heart hardening, but I insisted I could live without a community.

Finally, after being so caught up with the pace of life, and the social aspect of it, the spirit reminded me that I need a family. I need support.

Today I finally gave in God at the altar. I felt the Holy spirit again. And on my way to a tender heart. Again.

I feel horrible, like what Paul said in Hebrew, Why do I keep returning back to things that I already know I shouldn't be falling back into? When I should be mature enough to teach, to educate to guide my fellow christians. I guess its all about the fear of the Lord. I need to constantly remind myself that I need to do my part of the relationship too. Why do I seek earthly relationships and expect so much out of it when I don't even do the same with God?

Why don't I be proactive? I need that again.

Today I'm reminded, and I'm starting anew. He is the only one who can save me. not Man. Not myself. I will never win in that struggle. I praise God for someone in church who actually reached out to me today. Now I know what it feels like to be new in a church community. Life's not gonna be the same. (:

"A heart that follows hard after You"